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Instead I gathered up my dress, my glimmer of hope, carried it back to my closet, and placed it back where it belonged, sandwiched between all of the flannel. A commitment to purity culture must be expressed in dress: You show the world how unblemished you are by dressing modestly. I wish I could tell you that I put their false impressions of me out of my mind. I wish I could tell you that I didnt care, but I did. I was genuinely crushed by that entire incident of what would now be called slut-shaming. But I did make the tiniest deviation that day, which set me on a path that steadily put a greater distance between myself and that mentality. Nothing about my own values was altered, but the lens through which I viewed those around me changed. I never wore that dress. It hung in my closet for at least another year, and I would periodically run my hands along the lightness of the fabric, remembering the girl I knew I could be: a confident and happy person who owed no explanation to anyone. I kept up my uniform the baggy flannel in winter, baggy Hanes tees in summer and I hid my body from view.